


better with time.

by Vesuvian_American



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Universe, F/M, Fluff, Not Beta Read, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Titan Shifting, Titan!Reader, Updating tags as I go, and honestly ill never write that part, if you see a typo no you didnt, this takes place after the female titan arc but before Reiner and bertold get found out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:35:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28606839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vesuvian_American/pseuds/Vesuvian_American
Summary: You are a titan shifter who had been trapped in her titan body wandering Paradis Island for 107 years. Over the decades you finally grew the strength to break free of your weakened titan form, just as Captain Levi happened upon you during an expedition.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader
Comments: 109
Kudos: 331





	1. a century of hell.

_How long has it been?_

_How many years?_

_Where am I again?_

_How did I get here?_

These questions racked through your mind every day without fail. You were confused, scared, and tired. There weren’t many things you remembered from your life before, it wasn’t the happiest that’s for sure. The year was 743, you remember a vast body of water, that seemed to continue on infinitely, you got off of a ship, and in the next moment you were falling. Before you hit the sand below you were different, much larger than before, and you couldn’t control your movements.

You ran ahead along with the other titans watching in horror as humans were mauled and eaten whole. You couldn’t stop yourself, your body seemed to be under a sort of spell or compulsion that forced you to act violently. It tasted horrible, you wanted nothing more than to wake up from this nightmarish hell. But you were stuck, stuck for so many years you lost count of how long you’d been trapped and all shreds left of your humanity faded away into the darkness, along with any other precious memories.

60 years passed in this hell before you began to gain control over your new titan body. With this revelation came a wave of determination washing over you. You ran far away from civilization, far away where you came into contact with little to no humans. When you did see any you avoided them like the plague and they avoided you just the same, you were thankful. Little did they know you were a human just like them, fighting to survive.

The remaining years or torture were spent with you hiding away in a dense forest where you gladly starved yourself. Hidden away, safe from harm, your titan form weakened day by day. Every day was the same, you lay face down on the forest floor as the seasons changed above you. Dead leaves fell atop your body, later came the snow but your body stayed warm. When the snow melting flowers bloomed around you, spring time was one of the few things you enjoyed while in hell, daisy’s, wild flowers, and other weeds springing up all around you, blowing in the wind. The summer rains were harsh but soothing never the less, that is until they turned raging storms overhead. The thunder was frightening, but not as frightening as your titanic circumstances.

You counted the seasons as they passed but as the decades drew on you gave up on trying. You felt your body grow thin and frail, your bones shown clearly through the skin, you couldn’t lift your body now if you wanted to. It was summer now; you could tell by the sweltering heat on your nape. The heat was almost too much to bear, and in your efforts to move to the shadows you felt your real body twitch.

_Your real body... twitched._

You gasped; your titan body must have become so thin that your human body was free to move. Maybe you could even break free and try to find some help. New found hope bubbled in your chest as you fought to free yourself from the titan’s flesh. Natural light began to filter into the cavity you were confined in for so many years.

_Freedom, after so long its within reach._

♥

_The 58th Scouting Mission to the Forest of Giant Trees._

Scouts, in their haste to flee the forest in the 57th Scouting Mission left behind many valuable harpoon canons that were used to trap the Female Titan. This mission is to retrieve them. Led by Captain Levi the scouts set out to complete their mission, hopefully without incident. As the Scout Regimen reached the borders of the forest a peculiar sight caught their eye.

“I don’t think that titans moved an inch since the last time we were here.” Eren Jeager, commented. Armin noticed it too, it looked even thinner than it did a few weeks ago.

“Don’t get too close Eren.” Mikasa chided, pulling her horse in between his and the titan before them.

“Oi. Brats.” Levi barked gaining the younger scouts’ attention.

“Stop wasting time staring at that thing. We have a mission to complete.” He said, a bored look in his eyes. He wanted to be in and out of that horrid forest as quickly as possible and the sun was already set high in the sky.

Without another word, the scouts continued their trek into the forest to retrieve anything left from their last expedition. The work was tiresome, hours had passed and the sun was making its descent towards the horizon by the time they left the forest. No one died today, but a few titans did cause a bit of trouble for them. There was never a mission that went completely smooth no matter how much Levi wished for it.

On the way back to base, the Scouts took another look at your titan form. Steam now emanating from the flesh. Levi made sure to keep everyone at a distance, he was sure the titan couldn’t move but whatever was happening he had a bad feeling about it.

Levi drew his blades, sliding off of his stallion to saunter over to your weak titan, he stood atop its head as he watched something move beneath the skin. His eyes widened a fraction as he watched in shock as the flesh at the nape began to split on its own accord. Plumes of steam bellowed from the wound obscuring the scouts’ vision, Levi’s close vicinity aided him. He was the only one to see what happened next.

Something was inside, or rather, something was breaking free from the titan. More hot steam rose from the flesh wound as you lifted your head from the gash. Gasping for breath you opened your eyes and a trembling sigh spilled past your lips. Thick hot tears rolled down your cheeks, a look of pure bliss on your face. A man with onyx hair stood before you, a sharp blade pressed to your throat. Levi pressed forward, his blade causing a small nick on your flesh. The sting of pain made it all the more real for you. You were free at last.

Levi berated you with questions as your vision began to fade. His voice sounded muffled in your mind; you couldn’t quite make out anything he said before you were out cold. You were engulfed in a darkness once again, but this time, it was welcome. You fell limply backwards and as you did, Levi sliced the rest of the titan’s muscular attachments from your face and arms.

Noticing you were unconscious and thus, no longer a threat for the time being Levi came back to his senses. It finally registered to him the worried shouts from Armin on the other side of this wall of fog. Levi picked up your limp body, hoping down from the decaying corpse and walking slowly to the carts brought along for the expedition.

Emerging from the steam came Captain Levi, carrying you with an irritated scowl on his face. He handed you off to Reiner, a tall built man better equipped to carry someone bridal style.

“Put her on the cart, we’re heading back. Full speed.” Levi said and without another word the Captain was on his horse and riding away towards the base. Reiner and Bertolt gave each other confused looks before the remaining scouts hopped aboard their horses after having a look at you. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin caught up with their Captain quickly to bombard the man with questions.

_Who are they?_

_They came out of the titan?_

_Are they from the walls?_

“Oi! All I know is that she’s going straight to the holding cell in the basement when we get back. Erwin will ask questions later.” Levi barked, a headache forming in the back of his head. He wanted nothing more than to not ended up in this predicament today, but you were an unknown titan shifter. Thus, you were extremely dangerous and couldn’t go ignored.

In record time the Scouts arrived back at the base, and luckily just as Commander Erwin happened to be paying a visit, hoping to discuss reports with Hange Zoe.

“Commander. Shitty Glasses. You need to take a look at this.” Levi said, an unusually unnerving stare in his eyes. Without a word the two followed Levi to where you slept peacefully in the cart filled with equipment.

“Who’s this?” Erwin asked, his blue eyes scanning over your face with immense focus. Hange repositioned their glasses as they leaned over the cart to get a closer look.

“Get back. They’re a titan shifter we found in the Forest of Giant Trees.” Levi said as he pulled Hange back from your sleeping form.

“ **REALLY**!?” Hange was just about vibrating with excitement and anticipation. They made quick work of scooping you up into their arms to take you inside, and in their haste, they knocked your head on the door frame. Levi rolled his eyes at Hange’s impatience and followed suite after dismissing the scouts to clean the base.

Erwin led them down to a cell in the basement of the base, handing off the key to Levi.

“She’ll stay here until she wakes up and explains herself. We’ll figure out the rest of the details then. I have business in the capitol, I’ll return as soon as you send word.” With a firm nod, Erwin excused himself from the base and on horseback he made his way to Wall Sina.

Levi explained to Hange your condition, and how he found you. He decided to watch you until you woke up from your sleep. Hange made sure to being drafting up a report on you in the meantime, trying and failing to have patience and wait for you to awaken before discussing any experiments they wished to try.

Three days later, you finally opened your eyes. You made a silent gasp as you sat up abruptly in your hard bed, your overgrown hair messy and falling into your face. You swiped the hair out of your way a felt over your face. You withdrew your hands from your face as you flexed your fingers flipped your hands over and over again, examining them. Normal _human_ hands.

You snatched the rough sheets from your legs as your bent your knees and curled your toes. It’s been so long since you’ve seen yourself like this. You looked around your surroundings in the cell, and noticed a small hand mirror on the desk. You fell out of the bed in your haste to reach the desk and get a look at yourself. With trembling hands, you grabbed the mirror and held it up to your face. Slowly, you opened your eyes to look at yourself. Thick tears of joy rolled down the apples of your cheeks. You looked the same as the last time you saw yourself. You continued to poke and prod at your face, making sure this wasn’t some cruel dream when suddenly a deep grunt rang out in the darkness. A man clearing his throat sat cross legged outside of your cell with a thick book in hand and a small tea cup on the small table next to him. He marked his place in his book and uncrossed his legs before stepping closer to the bars that separated you both.

You gently placed the mirror down onto the desk before standing on your weak legs, backing yourself into the damp corner. You had your guard up, wary of the strange man and his icy stare.

Levi Ackerman finally broke the silence once again.

“Who _are_ you?”

♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No thoughts head empty, just Levi Ackerman. While drafting up the notes for this fic I realized late that this was kinda just Ymir's story... I didn't pay attention to her arc the first time around and didn't know she was a titan for like 60 years so I extended our reader's time as a titan from the initial 75 years I intended it to be to 107. :D ...... ahem, anyway, other than that I hope you enjoy my story! I'm so excited to write this! <33
> 
> Also, I'm using the Fandom.com website to help with the timeline of my story! If anything doesn't line up well... we'll ignore that.


	2. less than favorable.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As you become more acquainted with Captain Levi, finding him unpleasant is quite the understatement.

A bead of sweat rolled down your forehead as you stared back at the man before you. He was short in stature but nevertheless very intimidating. His pale fair skin looked even more porcelain in contrast to his shiny raven black hair that was styled so neatly, his thin brown drawn together in a frown, his dark eyes narrowing as the silence drew on. 

He kicked the bars of your cell harshly, making you jump violently, pressing yourself further into the corner until you couldn’t retreat any further.

“Answer me when I speak to you.” He ordered. There was another pause before you remembered what he asked you. _Who are you?_ You racked your mind for the answer, and as you opened your mouth to finally respond you found no noise followed. 

You grasped tightly at your throat at the realization. Where is your voice?! Panic making your tremble you tried to speak again and still, no sound.

“Oi! Enough with the games.” He said, losing his patience rather quickly. You shook your head wildly and pointed to your neck until he seemed to catch on. 

“You can’t speak?” Levi cocked his brow at you, unamused as he didn’t believe your story. You nodded your head fast and tried again to speak, your heart rate picking up.  _ Why now, why can’t you speak? _ Maybe going for who knows how long without speaking did a number on your vocal cords, weakening them to the point you were mute. 

Levi sucked his teeth in annoyance and without another word, he left and you listened closely as he ascending the stairs that were just out of your line of sight. _So, you were underground huh?_ That explains why it’s so chilly down here. The minutes passed, the silence did nothing to alleviate your mounting anxiety. Without warning, loud rushed stomping sounds cascaded down the stairs at alarming speed. Fear crawled up your spine, as your eyes darted around for any place to hide. Just as you were about to throw yourself underneath the sheets on your bed, a childish effort really, two hands gripped onto the bars of your cell harshly.

“You’re awake!” They exclaimed, pushing they’re head between the bars to get a closer look at you. You froze, slowly craning your neck to look behind you and see who sounded so eager to see you. A brunette that wore thick glasses, eyes sparkling with interest and a feverish blush spreading across their tanned cheeks. 

Your face twisted in confusion, your eyes slid over to the man that stood next to this new character and back to the brunette. 

“What’s your name?” They shouted; you could practically feel the excitement flowing off of them in waves. It was refreshing though you were still on guard with this situation you found yourself in. 

You thought for a moment before drawing a blank. You shrugged your shoulders, before looking sheepishly between to two people before you. You don’t remember your name, really. You felt your heart drop, the more you tried to remember the more holes in your memory that you discovered.

“Oh...” They sounded a bit disappointed in that, but quickly bounced back.

“I’m Hange Zoë, and this is Captain Levi." Finally, having names for the two calmed you just a bit. Hange seemed kind, much more refreshing than their grumpy counterpart. 

Levi huffed, seeming not  too keen on the fact that you know his name now. You frowned at that before returned your attention to Hange.

“I hear you lost your voice?” They said, more focused on the task at hand now. They took a step back from your cell and retrieved a notepad and pen from their lab coat, ready to record anything.

You nodded in response, before sitting yourself on your bed. From there, Hange continued to question you, and you attempting to answer the best you could. 

“Why don’t you give her the notepad so she can actually give a proper response, idiot.” Levi suggested, a tired look in his eye. He must have grown bored with the game of charades before him. The idea wasn’t so bad, you had to admit, it would make things a lot easier and you were excited to finally explain your side of the story in detail. 

Without waiting for a response, Levi snatched the pen and notepad from Hange’s grip and tossed them into the cell. Of course, he couldn’t give you the respect of handing it off to your properly. You shot him a glare before dropping to your knees to collect the items, sitting back on your bed you huff at his actions before looking at the page before you.

Hange’s handwriting, you couldn’t read a single word of it, and not just because of how sloppy it was. The words looked completely foreign to you and yet you still knew it was your language. You just couldn’t understand a single thing, and then you realized something else. If you didn’t know how to read anymore, how could you write? Your mind was empty, frustration boiling inside. Just how many skills did you lose in your time as a titan? 

You balled up your fists and brought them to your head, giving yourself a few good whacks before attempting to read again. Still, nothing was coming to you. Angry tears clouded your vision, you looked back up to Hange and tossed your hands into the air in defeat. 

Hange’s eyebrows rose in alarm. 

“You can't, speak, you can’t read, and you can’t write?” They asked inquisitively. Feeling dejected you nodded your head as you wiped your tears on your blouse. Slowly you rose from where you were seated and handed off the notepad and pen back to Hange. Understanding and kind as they seemed to be, Hange placed a hand on your shoulder, rubbing minute circles there with their thumb. 

“Don’t look so sad, this just makes it all the more fun for me to figure you out!” They said, that was more so good news for themself than for you but still, it made you smile and silently chuckle. This was still  leagues better than being a titan, and surely, with time you can easily relearn these skills.

Levi rolled his eyes before stalking out of the basement. Halfway up the stairs he turned back to Hange and spoke. 

“Get her a bath, she looks like shit.” He spat before you heard, rather than saw him ascend the rest of the stares. Your mouth fell open at his insult, the nerve of that guy. He was so rude and off putting. You hated him! 

Hange laughed a bit at your reaction before unlocking your cell and leading you up the stairs and towards the washroom. On the way you passed a large room where many other people sat, eating and talking amongst themselves. Your eyes scanned over their faces and none of them noticed your presence in the moment your walked across the doorway. That is until your eyes locked on a pair of vibrant emerald eyes. In that split moment, there felt like there was a secret understanding between the two of you, it was unnerving but just as quickly as you saw him, you were pulled away further down the corridor. 

Finally, at the end of the hall you were met with a large wooden tub. It had been so long since you’ve taken a proper bath and the steaming water that was waiting for you looked to be so inviting. You were snapped from your thoughts as Hange spoke.

“For safety purposes, I won't be leaving.” Hange stated matter-of-factly, they almost looked more eager than you. You scrunched your face at the lack of privacy but you understood. At least there was a partition so you could undress with a little peace of mind. 

Sliding into the bath water you silently sighed, hearing the splashing of water die down, Hange turned around to face you once more. In their hand was a bottle of a fragrant liquid, seeing the confusion in your expression they explained. 

“Shampoo. I'm sure you want your hair washed free of all that titan gunk.” You grinned, bobbing your head up and down in appreciation and agreement. Little did you know just how rough Hange’s hands would turn out to be.

♥

Levi decided to check up on Hange seeing at they still hadn’t brought you back down to the cellar. Fearing the worst, he rushed into the washroom without knocking and there he found you, still in the bath fighting to keep your head above water as Hange torturously scrubbed your scalp. 

Your arms flailed around as they tried in vain to find purchase against the rim of the tub and hold yourself up. Hange, too busy talking your ear off hadn’t noticed you struggling underneath their ministrations. Hange often got lost in their own world when they discussed titans, science, and their research, it was their favorite past time. Levi found it secretly amusing but he didn’t want you drowning at Hange’s hand, at  least not before he figured you out.

“Oi! Keep scrubbing like that and she won’t have any hair left on her head.” He interjected, making Hange jump as they hadn’t even realized Levi had entered the room. 

“O-oh! Sorry!” Hange snatched their calloused hands from your head and your you winced as your caressed your scalp after that wicked assault. Flustered at how carried away they got Hange pat your head apologetically, before helping your stand. Levi quickly turned his back to you, giving you privacy before barking out another order. 

“Clean this place up too, don’t want her germs infecting the place.” He said was he waved his hand around lazily, gesturing to your filthy clothes that littered the floor. You huffed at his attitude before wrapping a towel around your frame, and hiding behind the partition as you waited for Hange to find you new fresh clothes. Two sets of footsteps left you alone in the washroom, and not long after, you heard Hange rush back inside with a new blouse and skirt for you to wear. 

“Sorry about that again.” Hange said as they scratched nervously at the back of their head, you waved off their apology before dressing yourself. Taking a look at yourself in the mirror you smiled at the outfit before reaching for your boots and lacing them up. Just as you did, your stomach growled loudly, your face growing hot in embarrassment at the sound. How many years has it been since you had a proper meal?

_ One that wasn’t human flesh that is. _

Hange chuckled before patting your back roughly, knocking the wind out of you.

“No worries, I'll bring you food down to your cell! We don’t serve human though, sorry.” They poked at your side and laughed at their own joke as you pouted and shot Hange a playful glare. Your expression softened though, Hange didn’t seem to be afraid of you, and though you were in less than favorable circumstances, you felt you may end up having a little bit of fun here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was fun to write, also, think of our reader like Ariel when she got her legs in the little mermaid lol :D


	3. one hundred and seven years.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The year is what now? 850?!

The next morning, you were awoken early by a harsh kick to your cell’s rusted bars, dust dwindling down from the ceiling peppered your face as you were ripped from your dreamless sleep. Snapping your eyes open you sat up stiffly, your back aching from your new stubborn mattress. In front of you stood three imposing figures, Levi, Hange, and a taller man, blonde hair, blue eyes, thick eyebrows that sat atop a strong handsome face that screams, “I’m reliable you can count on me”. You found yourself anxious under his piercing gaze and oddly warm and generous smile. 

Sheepishly you smiled back at him and Hange, your gaze drifting right over the top of Levi’s head. You noticed his eyebrow raise suspiciously at your avoidant scan. He sucked his teeth before pulling out a seat for himself on the other side of the cell. Hange took a seat as well, while the new guy remained standing, further adding to his impressive aura. He oozed confidence and strength, something you hadn’t yet experienced in this magnitude. He had a strength about him not found in Levi or Hange, the strength of true leadership. Something about him just felt like you could follow him to the ends of the Earth if he asked, and you’d never regret such a decision. It was quite nerve wracking considering you knew nothing of him.

“Hello. My name is Commander Erwin Smith.” His voice deep as you expected. You gave back a simple wave and looked to Hange to speak the words you couldn’t.

“Ah, as you remember Commander, she has very little memory.” They explained, much to your relief.  _So,_ _the Commander had a bit of a debriefing, that’s good._ Saves you all some time. 

“Yes, well. We’re just about caught up on your situation miss, let me get you up to date. For starters, the year is 850. Does that happen to help you recall how long you were a titan?” He asked, a more serious concerned look to his features now. Thick brows knitted together in concentration and his sky-blue orbs piercing through you so fiercely you feared he could see through your clothes. 

But no, more importantly, did he say the year was 850? If there was one simple thing you remembered from the past it was the year. There was no way of continuously keeping time for so long out in the wilderness but you hadn’t imagined it would have been 107 years! Your eyes blew wide in confusion and fear, lips slightly parted as your mind worked to wrap around the news that you were a titan for over a century. 

The three of them seemed to pick up on your prickling anxiety and simultaneously they  leaned in, anticipated anything. Shakily, you pointed towards the notepad and pen in Hange’s lap and they quickly slid it across the floor to you. 

Blinded by tears and dread, you struggled to sloppily write a number. The last year you remember. The year 743. It took Hange no time to decipher your chicken scratch and they mumbled under their breath their hypothesis.

“Is 743 the year you were born?!” They stammered, and you shook your head wearily in response. 

“The last year you remember?” Erwin asked plainly, and you nodded solemnly. Levi’s steely grey eyes widened just a fraction before regaining his composure and returning to his usual bored look. His trained eyes raked over your face studying your expression, shock, sadness, confusion. You hadn’t a clue how you’re alive right now. 

“107 years.” Levi stated, lacking any form or emotion. It was like he was simply echoing your thoughts for everyone to hear, and it's true. It has been 107 years. You honestly felt a bit sick at the realization but, what did you expect. You knew a lot of time had passed, too much time to be honest. However, the reality was nevertheless horrifying. More than a few lifetimes had passed, anyone you may have ever loved was long gone by now, not that you’d  even remember them truly.

You heaved a shaky, trembling sigh and Erwin gave a sad, knowing smile to you. It was sort of comforting, but you were on edge still.

“Anything else you remember?” He asked, full of patience. You shook your head after a bit of thinking, nothing important was coming to mind. Just bits and flashes of things that you yourself couldn’t even begin to explain. Seemingly done with the questioning for now, Erwin bid you ado and Hange followed close behind. 

Captain Levi however, stood back for just a bit, much to your chagrin. You wanted nothing more than to be left alone for a moment to process things. If anybody were to stay behind a bit to ogle, you’d hope it were Hange, they could probably give you a laugh or two. Levi said nothing before tossing a book to the floor before your feet, you shot him an annoyed glare before he spoke. 

“Practice your reading brat,” was all he said before he quietly climbed the stairs and locked the door at the top. Grabbing the book and dusting it off you found it had plenty of pictures for context, and at the very least it would give you something to busy yourself with as your tried to distract yourself from your newly acquainted grief.

It felt a bit like survivor’s guilt, not that you personally remembered any of the other titans you often saw roaming around the island. You silently sighed as you thought of the other titans, you felt bad. They were all humans, you presume, stuck in your same predicament. Fighting and dreaming of freedom. 

The hours passed as you tried to read the words on the pages set before you. You found yourself not making much progress as you continuously had to wipe away your stinging tears from your lashes. Heavy steps descended the stairs as you hastily dried your eyes once more,  hoping it won’t be too obvious that you’ve been crying. 

It was Erwin again, shadowed by Levi. Levi’s thin brow rose, he almost looked disgusted at your tears, or maybe he was taking pity. Either one, you didn’t truly want from the likes of him. Erwin, however, did look truly concerned for just a moment before hardening his expression to keep things professional.

“Well, we won’t be able to learn anything from you until you learn to read and write. Thus, you’ll be staying here for the time being. I’ll visit periodically, but Captain Levi will be who you answer to for now.” He gave you a curt nod before taking his leave. Once again, Levi remained. The silence dragged on and you gave him a silent, yet fully exasperated sigh rolling your eyes in his direction. 

He scoffed before adjusting his cravat, his top lip twitching upward into a scowl of disdain.

“I was about to pity you and be lenient, but forget it. Stop your crying and read, brat!” He spat, before sitting harshly onto the wooden chair he always claimed, He folded his arms over his chest and crossed his slender legs, one over the other. The two of you held each other’s gaze for a moment before you turned around harshly and began studying. 

With him babysitting you like this; it’s going to be a lot less pleasant. Hopefully it won't take you very long to relearn these skills, the faster you can distance yourself from this guy.

♥

The hours stretched on in a deafening silence. The tension in the air was palpable and you hated it. Levi’s stern glare seemed to be burning holes in the back of your head, that made it hard to concentrate.  _ How could he demand results whilst simultaneously making it so hard for you?  _ He was difficult to put it nicely, but raging will do nothing to make your life more pleasant. The silence was suddenly interrupted by him, making you jump.

“The Commander is really sticking his neck out for you. I don’t understand why.” He said, his irritation evident in every word that spilled past his lips. Your shoulders slumped at his words.  _ Were you truly making their lives so hard? _ This wasn’t something you wanted. He waited a few beats before continuing, and icy chill to his tone. 

“I for one don’t trust you, if you can’t tell. You can warm up to Hange and Erwin all you want, but there's a reason _ I’m _ the one that’s in control here.” You shook your head slowly at his words, you’re not dumb. It’s clear as day he doesn’t trust you, and you don’t think the others completely trust you either and you understand their reasoning. At the very least,  _ they _ try to see things from your perspective. Levi, however, seems like the type to enjoy a stick up the ass.

“I’m watching you, because I won’t hesitate to kill you if you try anything.” He said, cocking his head to the side to attempt to see your expression. Sweat was beading at your brows, and you muscles tensed on reflex. You lived in fear before, but you still didn’t know how to cope with it.  _ Will you ever be happy again? _

Slowly, you turned around to face Levi, eyes gleaming with fresh tears. Doing your best to ignore his words you decided to return the attention to your book. You wiped away at your eyes before you steeled your nerves to approach the man, pointing to a particularly confusing image on the page before you. He quirked his brow at the page, his eyes narrowing before he gliding up to meet your own. He held your stare for a moment, as if trying to scare you away but he quickly grew tired of the effort. 

“Those are the three walls that protect humanity from you titans.” Your eyes locked again briefly, before he continued his explanation. He was an insufferable human being but very smart, you had to admit. He explained everything thoroughly without missing a thing and you found the walls fascinated. 

“Is that all or do I have to read the entire book to you, brat?” He complained, bringing his tea cup to his lips. You gave him a short and obviously fake smile before rolling your eyes and returning to your bed, once again facing your back towards him as you studied the picture once more. Little did you know, Levi’s lips quirked up into a microscopic smirk behind his tea cup at your attitude. Though, even to himself he couldn’t admit that you were a little funny to watch sometimes. 

Sighing, Levi checked his pocket watch, it was due time for afternoon training. He lazily tossed a clean notepad and  quill pen into your cell. 

“Practice your piss poor writing too brat.” He said, cup still held high up to his face before he downed the rest of his tea and you were left alone in the cellar once again.

Once you were sure he was gone, you stuck out your tongue in childish protest before grabbing the notepad and pen. Scribbling and drawing ought to be more fun than reading this textbook you figured. The rest of your evening was spent in silence, until Hange brought you a late lunch with tea. She kept you company for a while, and it was something that helped to ease your anxiety. She explained in more detail what was planned for you here within the walls, and  it's true, Erwin really was sticking his neck out for you, all of them were. 

Keeping you a secret from just about everybody in power until you could speak for yourself in a court of law. Your time with the Scouts would remain a secret even after then to keep from anyone getting in trouble. Seems the Scout’s get in enough trouble already, and housing a titan shifter for a second time would get them in a lot of trouble. Yet, for your own safety, they would put everything off until you could defend yourself properly, for that, you were  eternally grateful and you wanted to thank him in person.

Maybe even thank Levi, because, whether he wanted to or not, he was putting his own credibility on the line for you. As much as you dislike the man, you won't let his efforts go unappreciated. You thanked Hange for the food, conversation, and their protection with a bow, they simply waved you off.

“It's no matter! There’s equal benefit for you, me, and humanity!” They exclaimed before marching up the stairs and heading off to handle reports. You smiled to yourself at their hospitality and friendliness. Today was a tough day, but a necessary one. 

This was your second chance at life, one you had lost hope at ever having. You weren’t going to waste it on fear, anxiety, and self-doubt. With newly found resolve, you drifted off into an early slumber, unaware of Captain Levi’s light foot falls descending the stair case. 

His dark eyes sliding to your sleeping form, having Hange talk to you was a good idea  after all .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tiniest tiniest crumb of soft Levi. Only minutely. I'm trying my best to keep this a slowburn, but I can't help but make Levi secretly worry about your mental well being. Just a tad.


	4. fevers.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're struggling with a harsh fever.

The following weeks were a blur of the same old routine. Reading, writing, drawing, and trying to speak. Progress was made but it was all too frustratingly slow for your own liking. You could make sounds now but they were embarrassingly hoarse and your throat was sore from the work. Only Hange was around for the vocal lessons and you were pleased with that. Who knows how _Levi_ would tease if he heard your voice as it was now? 

You could sound out your vowels and other simple noises, your irritated huffs and puffs now came with sound, something Levi wasn’t too happy about. Hearing you express your agitation with his presence annoyed him like no other but he often held his tongue. One stern glare would settle you down for the time being, you knew your place and that was enough for now. 

“Oi...” He said, as he opened your cell door just a crack for you to come retrieve your lunch. No response, even though you’re sitting right there in your cell reading at your desk he presumed. Levi rolled his eyes before stomping into the cell and harshly dropping a tray down next to your slumped form. The loud racket from the clanking metal and glass shook you from your slumber. You must have dozed off instead of studying. 

A gleam of cold sweat made your forehead shine as a few loose strands were sticking to you. Levi frowned before snatching his hand away from you, afraid of being too close. He recoiled in disgust before exiting the cell and heading towards Hange’s office. 

“Shitty Glasses, your favorite titan looks sick.” He says wiping his hands clean on his handkerchief. Hange didn’t take their eyes from their microscope lens, they simply hummed at nothing in particular. Levi’s eyes narrowed; he’s sure they hadn’t actually heard a word he said. 

“Oi! You hear me?” He asked, stepping closer, again, he was partially ignored. 

“Huh? Yeah, yeah. Someone’s not feeling too good right?” They said, slipping a new slide under the scope and scribbling notes haphazardly in their messy notepad. Levi pinched the bridge of his nose before kicking at Hange’s stool to garner their full attention. Hange gasped as their arms flailed to grab the desk before them as to not fall on their ass. 

“O-oh! Who’s sick?” They sheepishly asked as they tried to set everything back to rights on their disorganized table. Levi huffed at the scene before him before giving Hange a well-deserved lecture about keeping tidy and listening when they’re spoken to. 

“That brats down there sweating like a hog, get them a bath. She looks shitty.” He said as he turned to make his leave for a cup of steaming black tea. 

“I’m busy why don’t you do it?” Hange complained taking one last glimpse at the specimen in their microscope slide. Levi said nothing, simply leveling Hange with a stare over his shoulder. 

“Joking, joking! Right away!” Hange rushed past Levi in their haste to get a bath running for you. Levi shook his head before continuing down the opposite hallway for his tea and some quiet time in his office signing off on reports. 

You had hardly touched your lunch when Hange got to you. They cocked their head to the side as they watched you pick away at the vegetables on your plate, long gone cold. Hange playfully huffed at the sight, surely a hot bath, fluids, and some rest and you’ll be right as rain. 

You gave Hange a weary smile and wiped your forehead clean of any lingering sweat. Hange returned that smile and ushered you off to the bath, this time allowing you to wash your own hair. The two of your shared a few laughs as Hange walked you through their latest experiments and the daily goings on with the Scouts. 

“They’re really curious about you, you know. Sooner you can talk and we get things cleared up I think Levi will let you meet people.” You snorted at that, _sure he would_. 

Hange barked a hearty laugh before continuing. 

“He’s actually not so bad when you get to know him.” They said with a soft smile, reminiscing on the good times. 

You scrunched your nose up at the thought but you also were the type to see the good in everybody, and surely, he had some good qualities if Hange could stand him. Of course, he’s strong, intelligent, _and admittedly handsome_ , but is there truly anything charming about his character? _Not yet at least_ , you thought. 

The time spent in the hit bath must have taken its toll on you, your face was flushed red and you were out of breath just sitting there. Your heart was pounding and your vision was growing dark around the edges. You motioned for Hange to come help you stand and with hand movements you told them you desperately needed something to drink. Swiftly, the two of you made it back to your cold damp cell where you shuffled into bed and they were off once again to grab you a cup of warm tea. 

On the way to the canteen for a clean glass, Hange spotted and angry Levi storming down the hallway. Quickly, Hange tried to avoid the Captain but he caught up to them with little effort and grabbed them harshly on the arm. 

“Shitty Glasses... where are those reports I asked for yesterday?” He grilled, folding his arms over his chest with a look on impatience plastered of his pale face. 

“Uh... I got carried away in my research– but, I can work on that right now and get them on your desk tonight!” Hange clasped their rough hands together, almost begging for Levi’s patience. He sighed before he agreed and begin to stalk off further down the hallway. 

“Ah! But can you get our guest some tea? I think she’s just dehydrated. Thank you!” Before Levi could protest Hange was gone in an instant to go finish up those reports as ordered. 

“She’s no guest.” He muttered to himself as he fixed two cups of steaming jasmine tea, adding a bit of mint to both drinks. His light footfalls descended the stairs and you groaned realizing it wasn’t Hange but Levi that was bringing your drink, meaning he’d probably sit down here and watch you until the early evening. You tried to feign sleep, hoping to avoid any awkward interaction with the man but he saw through your trick in an instant. 

He cracked open the cell door before sighing in annoyance. 

“Oi, come get this cup.” You hesitated a moment before tossing the thin sheets off of your body and shuffling towards the bars. You gave Levi a curt nod before graciously taking the warm tea from him and drinking it like you hadn’t had water in weeks. It did well to soothe your aching throat and warm your body instantly.

He quirked an eyebrow at that but instead of commenting he slammed the cell shut before taking his seat. He drank his tea with more patience than you, savoring the cool minty flavor that could ease any illness he ever encountered. Thinking back to Hange’s words earlier you decided to show your gratitude properly now that you finished that delicious tea. 

You raised your tea cup to Levi in cheers before giving the man a shy yet genuine smile. He simply nodded before closing his eyes and continuing to sip his drink. You flopped down onto your bed as your pounding headache began to cloud your senses. 

♥ 

For the next three days your mind was foggy. You don’t remember much other than sleeping majority of the day, sweating, a skull shattering head ache, and a fresh cup of tea three times a day. 

You also developed a dry cough that destroyed your throat, unfortunately you found the tea did little to soothe that even though you hardly had the energy to sit up and drink. You looked horrible, soon enough Levi and Hange knew this was no mere dehydration spell. Something was clearly wrong, maybe you were battling a fever of some sort. 

An emergency report was sent to Erwin and the next day he was standing before you, a heavy hand over your forehead. 

“Definitely a fever.” He said, confirming their conclusions. 

“We should move her to the infirmary for the time being until this fever breaks.” He spoke as he pulled the damp sheets from your body. You shivered at the change in temperature, shrinking in on yourself. 

Levi frowned, he wouldn’t like the idea of you being out of your cell and upstairs but you looked gravely ill. He sighed in defeat, if he were in charge he’d bring any medicine you’d need down here but Erwin was too foolishly kind. 

As you at up to stand with the Commander’s help a sharp pain shot through your chest. You gasped and clutched the sweat laden fabric over your chest, your lungs were on fire, heart pounding against the back of your sternum. You doubled over as a violent cough racked your body, drops of crimson blood spilled to the wet stones underneath your feet. 

Hange gasped, rushing forward to catch you before you hit the ground, your consciousness quickly fading. Levi’s eyes widened at the sight before him, lines of blood spilling from your lips, utter pain etched across your features, drenched hair dripping with sweat, your labored breathing loud and rushed. Erwin rushed out of the cell carrying you up to the infirmary with Levi and Hange hot on his heels. 

Your consciousness was wavering, all you know was that you saw many concerned faces on the way to wherever you were being carried. 

And then everything went black. 


	5. everything stays.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything stays, even the trauma you experienced 107 years ago. Battling pneumonia brought those memories back. The very beginning of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the flash back, think of s3e20, you know the scene.

You were jolted back to wakefulness as your head dropped onto the plush pillow of the infirmary bed rougher than Erwin had intended. You could tell not much time had passed since Hange was rushing frantically around the room in search of supplies and medicine. 

Your breathing was shallow, hot panting breathes wheezed out of your throat painfully. The taste of iron fresh on your tongue. A sickening flavor you had hoped to never taste again after becoming human. _You were afraid, after everything, were you really about to die over fever? Is it really just a fever, what is going on?!_

Levi stood at the foot of the bed ordering Hange to calm down. Erwin checked your pulse; it was beating a mile a minute. You strained to slow your breathing and calm yourself, afraid of fainting again and not knowing what was going to happen next. Hange crouched beside you, petting your hair and comforting you. They were guiding your breathing to slow your pulse as Levi tied a string tightly around your arm, your veins appearing ready to be pricked underneath the skin. 

That’s when you saw it. Hange raised a large needle into your field of vision. Your eyes bulged and you gasped loudly, shaking your head in protest so hard Levi worried you’d break your neck in the process. 

“Relax,” Hange cooed, they explained it was just penicillin to help you get better. For whatever reason you had a deep, primal fear of needles. Flashes of your deepest darkest memories flashed. The very last memories you had as a human.

♥

Your wrists were tied tightly behind your back but you fought against them relentlessly tearing your skin raw. You screamed and cried as a man walked behind you with a criminally large syringe filled with a cloudy liquid. You’d seen what it did. It was turning people into titans. You fought the best you could  given your circumstances but you knew you weren’t making it out  alive .

You begged and wept for forgiveness, you thrashed and kicked but, in the end, you felt that familiar prick in your shoulder. He just injected you with whatever that liquid was. Next was a harsh kick to your back and you were falling to the sandy dunes below. The last thing you saw was the late afternoon sun, birds flying, fluffy clouds painted orange. Men in military clothes laughing, others in rags crying as they feared that they would soon share your same fate. 

A jarring crescendo and a firm calloused grip on your forearm brought you back to the present. Hange was mere inches away from sticking you with the needle. However, on instinct and pure animalistic fear you screamed and thrashed. A new wave of tears streamed down your face, you  ripped yourself from their grip but before you could get away Erwin’s much stronger hands were weighing you down. 

You continued to kick, scream, and howl, Hange couldn’t get the needle in your arm as Erwin couldn't hold you still enough. Suddenly, there was a swift swat at the back of your neck and you were  engulfed in darkness again. 

Your body went limp in Erwin’s hands, light bruising already apparent on your arms. He sighed, calming his fried nerves before  frowning at Levi.

“Knocking her out won’t make her trust us.” He said, stepping out of the way so Hange could quickly administer the medicine.

“She would have given herself a heart attack if I didn’t.” Levi  stated plainly, crossing his arms over his chest. Erwin could tell, by the way Levi’s brows were knitted together her was quite shaken up by what just happened. Levi’s eyes were glued to your closed ones, watching as your face twitched and frowned in your sleep. He sighed before stepping into the hallway, thoroughly ignoring the  barrage of concerned questions from the young scouts.

“What the hell was that?!”

“What happened?”

“Is she alright?” 

Levi continued his trek down the hall before shutting himself away in his office for well needed quiet time. He needed it for just a moment before going back there to keep an eye on you, who knows what state of mind you’ll be in when you wake up. He’ll need any rest he can get right now. 

Hange collapsed into a chair in the corner of the infirmary, wiping sweat from their brow and letting their head fall back. They heaved a heavy sigh before wiping their eyes free of any of their own anxious tears. Breathing shakily, they stood to wet a rag with some cool water and lay it across your forehead. 

Erwin placed a heavy hand on their shoulder, it did well to immediately comfort and reassure Hange.

“You did well. None of that was your fault.” He said, giving a knowing smile. Hange sighed patting their own hand over his before covering you with a thin sheet. 

“Thank you.” Was all Hange replied with. Their mind was racing, true, but for now  it's best to just breathe. You’re okay, and Hange is vowing to themself to do as much as they can while you’re out so that they can avoid triggering you any further.

♥

Just before the sun rose the next morning you opened your eyes. Your whole body was sore like you had just ran a marathon. You groaned a bit before silencing yourself, sitting next to you was Captain Levi. Of course, he’d be the one to watch you, but right now he looked to be sound asleep. 

Your eyes scanned over his relaxed face, lips slightly parted and looking soft. His breathing was slow and hushed, raven black hair fell haphazardly over his forehead but still looking perfect and tamed as usual. He had long black lashes that dusted over his cheekbones, you were so distracted at taking in the details you hadn’t noticed his eyes opened. 

“It’s rude to stare brat.” Levi scolded smugly. You huffed before wincing at the pain in your neck. You reached back to massage there, noticing out of the corner of your eye how Levi’s features softened just a bit.  So little you almost worried you imagined it.

“Turns out you had pneumonia.” He said, his dark eyes raking over your chart. He listed off your symptoms and any medicines Hange administered. That’s when the memory hit you like a ton of bricks. 

You were screaming and fighting, the memory mortified you but you didn’t blame yourself or anyone for your reaction. _No one else but that man who’s face you_ _can't_ _remember from over a century ago_.

You sighed, rolling over and placing your face into the pillow and letting out a low moan. Levi chuckled silently. 

“Drink this, its medicinal tea.” He said, holding a cup towards you in that odd way he does. You nodded and hummed as the warmth spread through you. You both sat there in a comfortable silence before a light knock sounded against the heavy wooden door. 

Hange stepped through and their eyes glossed over seeing you awake. The two of you smiled at each other, and that smile of yours grounded Hange.  _So,_ _you weren’t upset, thank goodness_.

Hange pet your head, before apologizing for the syringe incident but you shook your head to stop them. You gave their hand a squeeze and there was mutual understanding. It was no one's fault. No one could have known that would happen. Again, your reassurance made any tension melt away from Hange’s shoulders and they released a trembling breath before clearing their throat and getting down to business.

“So, we’re dealing with pneumonia. Seems your immune system is weaker than normal probably since you’ve been a titan all these years. That damp moldy cellar did a number on your lungs.” They stated, you placed a hand over your chest, the familiar prickling of building anxiety present there. 

You nodded for Hange to continue and they explained what your healing process would look like. It can take anywhere from a week to a month, but they’re predicting a slower recovery due to your compromised immune system. You sighed in defeat, but you expected this, at least you were alive. 

“I’ll be watching so don’t try anything funny when you can walk again.” Levi said, feigning intimidation, but you could tell this was his way of trying to assure you’d feel better soon enough. You shook your head at him before returning you attention to Hange who had a pair of small white pills for you to swallow. 

“Just a pain reliever.” They said with a smile. You chuckled, slightly  embarrassed for being so skeptical but dutifully you swallowed and chased the medicine down with your hot tea. 

“Erwin will be back with a special book for you to read, but for now rest up!” Hange exclaimed and with that, they were back out the door. You could hear them shooing away the scouts and answering any questions they could. Just as the door was closing, again you got a glimpse of those bright emerald eyes and the way they lit up when they saw you. It was nice hearing their concerns, you smiled to yourself before laying your head back down on your pillow. 

Levi’s bored eyes locked on yours a moment before he turned away to drink a cup of his own steaming tea. And with that, you drifted off yet again. Resting well into the early  afternoon .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been itching to write this chapter since before I even started writing this fic. It came earlier than expected but hey, we've reached the climax of our very first conflict. Illness!


	6. your name.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally have a name for yourself, after so long you are Y/N.

That afternoon you were woken up with a flick to the forehead. Slowly opening your eyes and allowing them to adjust to the bright scenery you found Levi looming over you. Before you could speak or sit  up, he flicked your forehead again harshly. 

“Oi, brat. Wake up and eat...” He said with a bored tone. You frowned before groaning as you sat up. Your chest was sore, breathing was painful but you did find that you felt absolutely famished. Your muscles ached as you reached for the plate on your bed side table and began to eat hastily. Levi’s lips formed into a slight frown at the sight before him. 

“No manners.” He muttered to himself as he flipped through his reports. While you were asleep it seemed, Levi set up shop with you in the infirmary, a small table with a neat stack of forms sat a few feet away from you. Quill pens lay next to an ink well on one end, and on the other sat Levi’s favorite tea set. Levi’s eyes watched as yours scanned over his table and he cocked his brow at you. 

“Mind your business and eat.” He spat, before crossing one leg over the other. You huffed at him before taking a large bite out of your loaf of bread dramatically. The two of you rolling your eyes at each other. 

The silence drew on and as you finished your meal you sat awkwardly on your bed, not knowing what to do with your hands. Erwin hadn’t yet arrived with your new book and your old ones were nowhere to be found. Levi noticed this but decided against going to grab them for you from your old cellar. 

Silently he rose from his seat and poured you a cup of warm tea to ease your aching throat. The two of you sipped your teas in the continued silence before Hange came barging in to check on you. 

They felt your forehead, still a little warm but your fever was definitely dropping. After your routine checkup Hange asked if you were up for a bath to which you  desperately agreed. 

“Well, Levi while I watch her in the bath can you change the sheets?” Hange asked with a shit eating grin, though it did little to mask their anxiety for asking Levi to do something like _that_. Levi frowned as he eyed the sheets over, knowing they were drenched in your sweat put him off. 

“No.” He replied dryly turning his body away from your bed as if to remove himself further away from your sick germs. Hange pouted before hatching a new idea for a solution. 

“If I switch the sheets, you’ll have to take her to the bath–”

“Fine.” He said with an exasperated sigh, setting his tea cup down gently before slipping out of the door not waiting to see if you follow him or not. You groan and pout in Hange’s direction but do your best to catch up with Levi. Your body was feeling so heavy and weak you looked forward to the bath but not with Levi in the room. 

The partition will help to give you privacy but the dead silence will be nerve wracking. Your inner complaints fell silent when you found yourself walking past many of the scouts you recall seeing in the canteen and outside of the infirmary. 

The scouts gawked and moved out of Levi’s path as he walked on ahead but you slowed down to take the time to memorize their faces. They looked younger than you, well, everyone’s younger than you considering your past but that’s  beside the point. 

You gave the young scouts a sheepish smile and a little wave before catching up with Levi. You gave the young boy with those large emerald eyes a curt nod before continuing on. He looked like he wanted to ask a million questions, and you hoped one day to be able to answer them. 

Levi addressed a tall man as he walked towards the baths, his name was Mike. The two men nodded at one another as they passed by and you gave him a small nod of your own. However, instead of returning that gesture the tall man hastily slapped his hand over his nose and backed away from you. 

Mortified, you gasped and wrapped your arms over your body as if to conceal your scent.  _ Was it that bad, really?  _ As if it couldn’t get any worse Levi saw the entire thing and a smug look was painted over his features, probably laughing at your expense. You whined to yourself before continuing to the bath and slipping inside.

Levi shook his head trying and failing to conceal the smirk on his face. 

“Mike has a strong sense of smell.” He commented as you slid the partition in front of the tub with a frown ever present on your features. You sucked your teeth at the new information. 

“ _ Great, so I just broke his nose with my ick, _ ” you thought to yourself. Levi stood across the room with arms folded as you peaked back behind the partition and began to undress. You slid down into the steaming water and released a delighted sigh, allowing your weary muscles relax in the warmth. Any humiliation from you encounter with Mike melting away.

Hearing the splashing water die down Levi excused himself to quickly retrieve fresh clothes for you. He brought back an olive button down blouse, khaki slacks, and a pair of slippers. Swiftly he walked up to the chair next to your bath and dropped the neatly folded clothes onto its seat. You eyed him warily, sinking an inch deeper into the bath but Levi was a gentleman of course, he made no attempt at sneaking a peak at your body and you appreciated that. It was hard to imagine him as the perverted type anyway.

♥

Levi leaned his back against the wall of the washroom near the door, sighing before reluctantly breaking the silence.

“You remember your name yet brat?” He asked, tilting his head to the side as he waited impatiently for your attempted response. You hummed “no”, sounding a bit sad. 

“Troublesome...” He muttered under his breath but you caught what he said loud and clear. You huffed at his comment before reaching for the shampoo bottle and giving your scalp a scrub.

You hummed delightedly, feeling refreshed and clean. Just as you were stepping out of the bath Levi ordered you to hurry, dress, and get back to the infirmary. Levi stepped into the hall where he was met with a scout pacing back and forth on the other side of the door impatiently waiting for someone to emerge. 

“What do you want brat?” Levi spat waiting for the  young boy to explain himself.

It was Eren Yeager, he had so many questions he’s been wanting to ask about you. Who you are and why you’re here? Just as he opened his mouth to ask as much you stepped into the hall, dressed in your new comfy clothes and drying your drenched hair on a fluffy towel.

Eren’s eyes scanned between you and Captain Levi, mouth still agape before he finally spoke. 

“You’re a titan shifter?” He interrogated, staring a bit too hard at you. It was a little unnerving how eager he seemed for an answer, an answer you weren’t sure of yourself.

Awkwardly you shrugged your shoulders looking between the two men. 

“Theres your answer brat, now get to cleaning in there.” Levi ordered shuffling between the two of you to leave towards the infirmary. 

“B-but–” Eren attempted to protest his new chores but he was quickly silenced with an irritated glance from the Captain. Eren deflated before stalking off into the wash room to tidy up to Levi’s high standards. You gave him an apologetic smile before following Levi back to your room. 

There you were met with Commander Erwin, he stood in the middle of the room flipping through a thick book, one you supposed was meant for you. 

“Oh, there you are!” He said with a bright smile handing over the book to you. 

“This is for you, pick whichever one you like most.” He nodded towards the text in your hands, while you looked at him questionably. That is, until you saw the context of the book. _Names_.

It was a book filled entirely of names to pick from. Something in your chest twisted almost painfully, you hadn’t realized how heartbreaking it was to have forgotten your own name. However, finding a new identity for your new life felt a bit rewarding and poetic. Grinning with misty eyes you flipped through the pages enthusiastically. 

A knock sounded against the door but you ignored it as you continued to scan the pages with haste. Hange slipped inside and Levi caught them up on what was happening.

“She's picking out a name...” He said with a bored tone, yet on the inside he was anticipating your choice. Hange gasped and clapped their hands together, excited to finally have a name to call you form here on out. 

You pointed out a name to Hange and watched as their expression soured. 

“I don’t know about _Daisy_ for you...” they said hesitantly, a tentative smile on their face as they flipped to another page to divert your attention from  _ Daisy.  _ Levi’s own expression twisted at the sound of that one too, and Erwin chuckled giving a choice of his own.

“Mildred?” This time you were the one frowning, shaking your head frantically before snorting a bit at that name. Levi shook his head before adding his suggestion.

“How about the brat flips to a random page and the first name she finds we use that? Problem solved.” He added, feigning irritation and impatience. You gave him a small smile before taking him up on the offer. 

Closing your  eyes, you flipped the pages at random before randomly stopping yourself and pointing at a spot on the page. 

Slowly you opened one eye to see where you landed, Hange leaned eagerly over your shoulder to get a glance themself. 

“ _ Ooo~ _ I like this one!” Hange exclaimed giving you a playful nudge in the side. Erwin glanced at your finger on the page, his thick eyebrows raising a fraction in surprise.

“Lucky pick! It’s lovely, do you like it?” He asked, his features softening at the dazed look on your face. You loved it, it felt perfect. You felt like this name was already yours. You nodded softly, unshed tears clouding your vision. 

Levi sauntered over and looked at the name on the page before giving a curt nod.

“It’s not shitty.” He said plainly. You chuckled before smiling at the  page once more. 

That’s when, in 107 years you uttered your first word. Voice soft and trembling.

“Y/N.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh sorry if your name is Mildred or Daisy. :D All love! <3333


	7. one step forward.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While you recover from your illness, you and Levi grow closer, learning more about one another.

“Y/N” you whispered, misty eyes staring at the page before you. There was a stunned audience before you. Erwin’s thick eyebrows rose in alarm, his lips parted in a silent gasp, Hange squealed, and although Levi looked to be unfazed as  always, his cool grey eyes widened just a fraction before reverting back to his usual bored expression.

Then finally it hit you like a ton of bricks just as Hange squeezed the air out of your still aching lungs, lifting you off the ground and giving you a celebratory spin. _You spoke_. For this first time in over a hundred years, for the first time in the weeks that you’ve been human again, you finally spoke. You gave a small gasp before placing a hand over your throat. You cleared it before trying to speak again.

“Hello!” You said, although this time your voice sounded more like a toad’s croak and the strain was painful. Embarrassed at the sound you slapped you hand over your mouth to hush yourself, face reddening in humiliation. Levi clicked his tongue before crossing his muscular arms over his chest.

“Just a fluke...” He stated, unamused and slightly disappointed. You heaved a dejected sigh before plopping down onto the infirmary bed, a slight pout plastered onto your face. Erwin shook his head disapprovingly at Levi before placing his heavy hand atop your head. 

“Progress is progress.” Was all he said, showing you a reassuring smile before making his way to exit the room to handle his business at the base. Levi gave you a curt nod, possibly his way or telling you to keep up the good work, before he followed Erwin’s lead. Hange kneeled down in front of you, a wide grin growing across their tan face. 

“He’s right! The more we work at it the sooner you’ll be back in tip top shape, now say  _ ah _ !” Hange comforted you, and they were right. This is progress, you can finally start communicating with these people and tell them everything you remember. Further gaining their trust and learning more about where you are and what the world is like now.

“ _ Ahhh _ ...” Hange swiftly pressed a flat wooden stick onto your tongue to have a proper look at your mouth and throat, it’s a little red and swollen back there but that’s mostly due to the pneumonia you’re still battling. You were given new medicine, a book to try reading aloud, and ordered back under the covers. 

You had a few hours of alone time before Captain Levi came back in, you had been practicing your reading aloud but being timid you silenced yourself when the door knob started to turn.

“Don’t stop on my account.” He mumbled between sips of his warm tea. You frowned a bit, really not feeling comfortable with the way you sound right now. Your voice was dry and cracking after every syllable. It fried your nerves for even Hange, your favorite person to hear. As the awkward silence drew on Levi released an exasperated sigh and pinched the bridge of his slender nose.

He sat at his make shift desk before beginning to sign off on reports before he spoke again. 

“How are you feeling?” He said, sounding a bit impatient and irritated. You simply shrugged your shoulders nervously, however Levi made a point to not look up from his work to see your silent  answer .

“I can’t  _ hear _ you...” He chided, he was going to make you speak one way or another. You huffed before clearing your throat softly, praying to whoever was listening to not embarrass you in this moment. 

“Fine.” Was all you mustered, your voice sounding strained and scratchy. Levi fought the urge to cringe at the noise, instead choosing to ask a new question. 

“Tea?” He offered, flipping and shuffling the pages on his desk to work on the next stack of reports.

“Yes, please.” Levi quirked his brow at your politeness, usually you'd offer him a fake smile before trundling off to the desk you had in the cellar to read. Maybe being sick calmed the attitude you seemed to have with him. He huffed internally; he couldn’t lie he felt inadequate wondering how he hadn’t noticed you were getting sick until mere moments before it was too late. 

You coughed, you started sleeping in, you were sluggish for a time. He just figured you were the lazy type, or maybe he was neglecting your health because you were a titan. It pissed him off like no other thinking maybe he ignored the signs and allowed you to get sick. However, having noticed your questioning expression he shoved the intrusive thoughts to the back of his mind to worry about later in his free time. For now, he needed to worry about your tea.

♥

Another coughing fit had you doubled over in pain, Levi frowned and sucked his teeth listening to your groans and whimpers of discomfort. Of course, pneumonia won't heal in just one day, but was it normal to be in so much pain. Couldn’t you just be doped up on drugs and put to sleep for a week? Levi sighed before swiftly heading out the door, minutes later he returned with Hange holding them by the back of their collar. Seems he dragged them here to make you feel better, you gave him a thankful smile before another wave of wet coughs tore out of your burdened lungs. 

The taste of iron ever-present on your tongue; you were thankful to wash the medicine down with the minty tea Levi brewed. The warmth of the tea tied together with the drowsy side effect of the medicine quickly lulled you to sleep. Levi’s eyes raked over your resting form before he shuffled in his chair to finish his reports. 

Hange placed a warm wet cloth over your forehead before humming in satisfaction at your snoozing face. They hummed dreamily before turning to strike up conversation with Levi. 

“How’s her voice, then?” They whispered  cheerily , clasping their calloused hands together.

“Shitty as expected...” He said noncommittedly, refraining from tearing his concentrated eyes away from the papers before him. Hange chuckled quietly as not to wake you.

“Surprised you came to get me, I got lost in my work and missed the hour I was meant to come give a second dose of medicine.” Hange admitted sheepishly, while Levi checked his pocket watch for the time. Scowling at the hands pointing toward five o’clock in the evening, noticing Hange decided to be generous with their tardiness they were actually two hours late. 

Levi narrowed his steely eyes at Hange threateningly before getting back to his report signing. 

“Get back here in three hours. If you’re even a second late I won’t let you leave this room again!” He ordered watching Hange step away a safe distance before responding.

“You’re rather protective of her now, you get soft over the sick eh Levi?” They joked, not thinking the man would bother with a reply.

“No use letting her die now, whether I like it or not she’s essential presently. Now get out.” He answered nonchalantly. However, deep down it wasn’t just that you had knowledge locked deep inside your mind, he was feeling just a tad sorry for your condition. It’s not something he can change now however so it’s no use dwelling on the what-ifs, he thought.

♥

Three weeks passed of the same old routine. You wake up, cough a bit, read, and have small talk with Captain Levi over tea. The conversation was dry but from time to time you found yourself laughing at something he said rather funny. He’d tell you how the morning training went with the scouts, and how his  _ favorite _ , Eren Yeager, was always so troublesome. Other scouts would ask how you were feeling, if you were alive still, and if they learned anything about who you were. He  always ignored their pestering questions but he didn’t let you know that.

Insults seemed to be Levi’s only form of humor but you didn’t mind so much now that you’ve learned more about him as the weeks drew on. You were happy to talk with him, it eased the tension you once felt when you were around the man. He was still intimidating but you learned that his  ever-present scowl was just his resting face. 

Levi was an intelligent man, a clean freak, outspoken, and reliable apparently since you learned he’s humanity’s strongest soldier. You felt a little lack luster in comparison given you don’t remember much about yourself but he seemed to be picking up on the ghosts of your personality over the weeks. 

You’re shy but no push-over, mild mannered, kind, and to Levi, a little irritating. You weren’t afraid to show your distaste in something he said, that signature pout you would wear when he insulted you a little too harshly. The scoffing you’d do when he complained about your shitty handwriting, how he wouldn’t let you out of his sight for more than an hour. He kept you on a tight leash, but now that your health was finally starting to improve it seemed he’d get only stricter from here. 

“Unbelievable.” You grumbled. Scrunching up your nose at the fact that you’d finally be able to leave the infirmary behind and move into a bedroom of your own, however, Levi was  in charge of the key for your door. 

“Good night.” He replied, shutting the door in your face and locking it shut from the outside. In the hallway Levi and Hange heard your fist rap against the sturdy wood of the door a few times before you gave up and fell onto your stiff bed. 

Levi smirked as he heard you coughing most likely from the dust you displaced by sitting on the bed. Hange noticed the minute smile and gave a hearty laugh before patting their friend on the shoulder. 

“You two seem to be on good enough terms.” They commented with a cheeky grin. Levi rolled his eyes dramatically and scoffed, waving off the comment.

“Absolutely not.” He said before stalking off towards his office in the room across the hall, Hange barked with laughter once more before heading down the hallway towards their own office.

After dusting yourself off and changing your old ratty sheets to fresh ones from the infirmary you got back into your bed staring up hopefully at the ceiling. 

“Maybe things can be okay here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait my lovelies, also, I wish Levi would keep me on a leash—


	8. two steps back.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you're going to be staying at with the Survey Corps for the time being, you're going to be put to hard labor. Under Captain Levi's supervision, no less.

The harsh clatter of rusty keys snapped you out of your slumber. Groggily you struggled to allow your eyes to adjust to the early morning light seeping into the room from your dusty window. The window that was strategically nailed shut the night prior by Levi. 

Wearily you propped yourself up on your elbows to eye whoever was coming to wake you at such an hour. _As if you didn’t already know who_.

Without warning, Levi stepped into the room and kicked your bed with such force you would have fallen out of it if you weren’t already anticipating his actions. Levi’s eyes scanned your face, sleepy bags under your squinted eyes, dried drool across your cheek, that mop of messy hair flying in every direction. What a sorry sight.

“Get dressed and meet me in the hall. You've got five minutes to fix all of...  _ that _ .” He ordered, his hand lazily gesturing at all of you. You only groaned in response and muttered curses under your breath as he shut the door.

In ten minutes, you were out the door and found Levi waiting for you, arms crossed and an impatient and unimpressed scowl donning his features. 

“I doubled your work load since you decided to take double the time to get out here.” He said, before leaving you in his dust. Your mouth dropped open at his words. 

“What work?” You asked, running to catch up with the man. 

“You’re going to be put to work, you’re no guest here if that wasn’t obvious.” He said plainly, at the end of the hallway Levi opened a heavy door that led into a closet filled to the brim with cleaning supplies. Mops,  brooms, and chemicals galore. 

When he turned around, he shoved a broom, duster, mop, and a rusty bucket into your chest. You fumbled to hold everything as he closed the door and walked back towards your bedroom. You clumsily followed after him, tripping over your own two feet on the way. 

Back at your room you were pushed inside by Levi’s hand. Before slamming the door in your face, he said you have but one hour to clean your place up to his standards and that he’ll have you cleaning until sunrise tomorrow if you mess up. 

“Bu–” You voice was cut off by the heavy wood coming mere centimeters from your nose. You jumped back, dropping your cleaning supplies in the process and listened in disbelief at the jingle of those rusty keys locking you inside. 

Really? _ Really? _

You hadn’t the slightest clue how clean he wanted this place but to reach his standards, which you imagined were high, in just an hour sounded impossible. However, you knew his threats weren’t to be taken lightly. He didn’t seem like the type of guy to get much sleep so you can bet he wouldn’t bat his lashes at the idea of making you clean under his supervision into the late hours of the night.

You groaned dramatically, before snatching up your broom and taking out your anger on the germs and muck caked to the creaking floor boards. On the other side of the door Levi heaved a long-suffering sigh before quietly crossing the hall to  complete some paper work in the meantime.

After the hour was up, Levi wasted no time in letting himself into your room to inspect your work. 

There he found you atop a stool wiping mindlessly at the window to clean it the best you good. He watched as you smeared the dust and ick from the glass around in messy circles leaving behind a disgusting streak of dirt in your wake. You’ll definitely be cleaning that again, later.

Levi scowled before snapping at you to stop. His upper lip permanently pulled up in a disgusted grimace. He swiped his slender fingers underneath the table in the corner of your room, scoffing at the dust that dirtied his fingers. He did a few laps around the room, making sure to not touch anything this time. 

He sighed as he wiped away dust on his fingers as he leveled you down with a cold, bored glare. 

“Try again.” He said, once again locking you inside. Clenching your fists and accepting defeat you tried again as told. This time, after your hour was up, Levi didn’t both checking your work. He was sure to be disappointed yet again if he did. 

"Follow me." He said coldly.

Walking down the halls you passed by a number of scouts, they all look strong though you can recall Levi complaining about a certain few whom you could recognize now. 

Armin, he said was too kind but he complimented his intelligence. Jean had potential but he’d hesitate at times, most likely fear. Mikasa was the strongest and fastest, but when it came to Eren, she was reckless. He failed to discuss Sasha and Connie’s skills on the battlefield and instead complained about their childish antics at the base. Bertholdt and Reiner were inseparable and weird. That’s all he said about them...  _ odd _ . 

Before you could recall anything else you found yourself bumping into the Captain’s back as he stopped abruptly in front of you. He clicked his tongue at the contact, before looking back at you over his shoulder. 

“Clean the kitchen good enough and maybe I’ll let you eat lunch in the canteen with everybody else.” He led you inside the large canteen and through the double doors to the back. You gasped at the sight before you, it looked as if a titan ran through here on a rampage. Your shoulders slumped at the sight and Levi hid his smug look from your view. 

Before leaving he listed off your duties and gave you three hours to complete the job. As he left you could hear him telling some scouts that they were free from the morning duty of cleaning the kitchens. A muffled “yay” was all you could hear as the doors swung shut leaving you to your own devices and chores. 

♥

As the hours dragged on you found yourself growing more drained. Your body was sore, your hands ached and there were blisters forming from the strenuous work you hadn’t yet  grown accustomed to. 

“This is shitty...” You whined, blowing out a puff of air to toss a few stray hairs out of your face.

“Your cleaning  job ? Yeah, it is pretty shitty.” Levi commented. You felt as if you had jumped four feet into the air, how long was he standing there? You frowned before whipping your head around to face him

“Leave me alone...” You mumbled as you got back to mopping the floors.

“And here I was about to let you off the hook five minutes early. Never mind then.” He said, shrugging his shoulders before making his way over to the tea cabinet and grabbing two bags. You huffed before scrubbing harder, in your mind you imagined it was his face that was on the end of this mop receiving your fury. 

Five minutes passed before Levi reappeared with two steaming cups of warm jasmine tea. 

“You can stop that now, you’re about to mop through the wood itself.” He said before nodding his head towards the canteen. You dropped the mop without looking back. Levi decided to ignore your ill manners, giving you a break from his strict rules just this once. 

He sat at one of the long tables and you apprehensively did the same, taking your seat right across from him. He slid across your cup of tea and you eyed it warily.

“I didn’t poison it, drink up.” He said before beginning to sip his drink, holding the cup in that odd way he always did. You sighed before gently grasping the cup, the movement was painful for your blisters but you desperately needed this drink. The two of you drank in an awkward silence before Levi decided to comment on your ever-present pout.

“What is wrong with your face?” He asked between sips.

“Nothing.” You said, staring down at the steam floating away from your tea. 

“Something. The tea tastes fine, so what is it?” He said, sounding a bit  sterner this time, demanding an answer.

Without verbally replying you simply showed the man the red angry blisters that littered your palm. He sucked his teeth disappointedly before leaving you alone in the canteen for a moment. You rolled your neck to ease the pain that resided there before hearing the canteen doors swing open again. 

Levi sat once more in his seat as he set down a healing salve and bandages for your hands. He opened and closed his hand a few times to ask you to offer him one of yours so he could wrap it. Relenting to him you gave him your hand and found he was  surprisingly gentle as he bandaged you up.

Levi dunked two of his slender fingers into the salve and massaged it carefully into your palm, the feeling was soothing enough for you to hum in pleasure. His eyebrow twitched at the sound before glancing up to see that embarrassed flush paint your cheeks. Finishing up his work on that hand Levi turned it this way and that to check for any missed spots. 

He wrapped your hand delicately with the bandages, but tight enough for it to be effective in the healing process. As he began to work on your other hand you decided to fill the silence.

“One moment your insufferable and the next you’re nice to me. I don’t get you.” You said, eyes looking intently at his work. You doubt he’ll offer to wrap them up again for you tonight. 

“ Mhm ... Don’t try to get me, it's pointless.” He said, noncommittedly, and again the silence was almost painful.

“Thanks.” Was all you could think to say, afraid that if you try too hard to  prod into the inner machinations of his mind you'd strike a nerve. 

“Don’t thank me. I’m only doing this so you don’t wind up back in the infirmary and I can’t work you tomorrow.” He said, tying a knot on the bandages and securing them. You found yourself giggling at the comment before you could think better of yourself. A ghost of a smile lined Levi’s lips before falling back into a thin line. You decided to play like you hadn’t seen that. 

After that, the two of you finished your tea in relative silence. Levi stood and removed both of the tea cups and dropped them off in the kitchen's sink.

“Lunch is in half an hour. Go rest.” He said as he left from the canteen. You sat for a moment before lifting yourself onto your feet and doing as you were told without complaint. 

“ _He’s confusing_ ,” you thought. The hallways were empty on your way back to your bedroom, you were practically dragging your feet the whole way. As you stood between your bedroom and Levi’s office you could hear him milling about in there. 

Light footsteps, shuffling papers, and quiet commentary on what he had to take care of for the day. Most likely talking to himself and taking metal notes. You sighed before slinking off to your bed and throwing yourself onto it, eliciting another coughing fit. Even after changing the sheets there was entirely too much dust seeped into the mattress.

In Levi’s office he heard the raging coughs coming from your room. He chuckled inwardly before clearing his throat to stifle the sound. He frowned at himself before getting back to his work to rid you from his mind. 

“ _Troublesome girl._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was fun to write. Enjoy lovelies. <3 Also, THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE THIS FIC IS GETTING. I never imagined so many comments would come flooding in. Im so appreciative and the comments really keep me going, it gives me the motivation and drive to keep writing asap! Sorry for the wait, but so much more is planned for this story so stay tuned!!! ILY <33


	9. you're not normal.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch with the scouts goes just about as planned, awkward. A meeting with Erwin leaves you feeling fearful of tomorrow.

As the comfort of sleep faded away, regretfully you opened your eyes and sat up on your bed. You stretched your weary muscles and groaned at the popping sounds your bones made with the movement. You lazily patted your hair back into its usual form before straightening out your clothes and opening your door. Just as you did you were met with Levi’s irritated glare. 

“That’s the last time I go without locking your door.” He said before sighing and walking off. You followed without a word, too sleepy  to reply to the man. 

“You will sit at the same table as Hange, the other superiors and I. Don’t speak unless spoken to, if you do good today this can be regular. If any scouts come up to you, ignore them. It’ll be hard because those brats are chatty, don’t answer any of their questions. Got it?” He rattled off. Right now,  _ he _ was seeming like more of the chatty type, more than usual you suppose. However, it's to be expected you imagined. He’s giving you a lot of trust allowing you to eat with everyone as if you were normal. You were thankful but that can go without saying.

“I got it.” You replied, within the next few steps the two of you were standing in front of the canteen you had cleaned just hours before. Suddenly feeling shy and self-conscious your stomach sank. You hadn’t been in a  social setting like this since you’ve been human again, to be honest you  were scared. No one was expecting you to speak though but you knew all eyes would be glued to the back of your head as soon as you entered. It was nerve wracking.

“Stand up straight...” He snapped before opening the door an walking inside, leaving you to trail after him like a lost puppy. Just as you hypothesized, the once loud and rambunctious canteen had fell silent. Silent save for Hange still tittering off about one  sciencey thing or another to the other men at their table, that made it less awkward for you but you couldn’t help but feel a few beads of cold sweat forming at your brow. 

Levi cleared his throat dramatically to grab your attention toward the meal tray he had already filled with your lunch for the day, boiled potato and soup again. With that the two of you made your way towards Hange and sat down, you next to them and Levi across. The men at the table, Mike and Moblit, eyed you over in acknowledgement before properly greeting Levi. You gave them a curt nod and lifted your fork to take a bite of your food. Hange roughly hooked an arm around your shoulder before loudly bringing you into the conversation. 

“Moblit! This is the one I’ve been talking about! Y/N! Hi!” You winced at their volume and a shy blush warms your cheeks, as if all the attention in the room wasn’t already on your neck, it surely was now. You could hear your name floating about the room as people began talking about you. 

_ “Y/N huh?” _

_ “She’s that titan?” _

_ “Is it safe having her here?” _

_ “I’m sure they know what they’re doing...” _

_ “You think she’s like Annie––” _

_ “Don’t mention that one!!” _

That last part greatly disturbed you, but you decided to ignore the voices around you and just focus on the people at your table and your food. Levi looked at you over the top of his tea cup, reading your worried expression carefully. Setting his cup down gently he addressed Hange sternly. 

“Shitty glasses... Keep your voice down you’re giving me a headache.” 

Hange being as intelligent as they are quickly realized Levi said that more for your sake than his made-up migraine. Hange gave a short glance your way before quickly giving you a squeeze and lowering their voice as told. Instantly a bit of your anxiety ebbed away though the gossip didn’t die down much. 

The rest of the lunch period went without much incident, Hange did well to distract you from the background chatter and made you feel  _ normal _ .  Moblit was a sweet fellow, the only person you imagine could handle Hange on 100% at all times, Mike was quiet but from time to time he would chuckle at the commentary. Levi remained stoic and unchanging, sipping his perfectly brewed black tea, and picking away at his meal. It was a nice change in pace in contrast to eating alone in your room with your nose in a book. 

Your thoughts were interrupted when a boy you recognized instantly came stumbling up towards Levi. His large teal eyes staring into yours. However, this time, two others followed after him. A taller girl with brilliant black hair and a soft red scarf over her shoulders, and a timid looking blonde boy with even bigger baby blue eyes. 

Without taking his eyes off of his plate Levi addressed the three scouts  coldly . 

“And what do you brats want?” His voice made the blonde jump, and to make him feel a little less on edge you returned your gaze back to Hange and  Moblit , watching the two interact and trying to ignore the scouts and whatever they needed to give them a semblance of privacy. 

“C-captain, we were just wondering-–” Eren was interrupted by Levi speaking over him.

“If you’re wondering anything about Y/N, its none of your business for now. Dismissed.” With the mention of your name, you jumped a bit and your shocked yet confused eyes met Levi’s even and dark ones. 

“It's dangerous having a titan at the base with Eren. What if she’s after him like Annie was?” The girl responded, she had a confidence about her that told you she was strong and not to be trifled with. Almost on par with Levi, however, she lacked the outward intimidation.

“Do you think I can’t do my job, Mikasa?” 

“But for Eren–”

“Do you think I can’t do my job?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then you’re dismissed.” Levi ended the conversation once again with a tone of finality. After a moment of tense silence, the three of them walked off as the blonde pulled tirelessly on their sleeves away from the table. 

“Also, the three of you have kitchen duty for the week.” Levi called after them, you could hear the three kids bickering amongst each other as they got back to their table. Eren and some taller boy teasing one another as soon as he sat down. 

You looked back to Levi but he was already standing from his seat, taking your tray and his to be disposed of. Before he could make it back to the table the door of the canteen opened, you couldn’t see who was on the other side but Levi went to them quickly. 

He was gone for just a few minutes before Erwin stepped through the door. Everyone stood and saluted to him, and you felt awkward for sitting. 

“At ease.” He said, everybody retook their seats as his eyes scanned the crowd for yours. He gave you a small smile before he spoke again.

“Y/N, come with me.” Your eyes widened just a fraction  before darting towards Hange, they nudged you and waved you off.

“See you later Y/N!” With that, you stumbled towards Erwin and he opened the door for you. Outside you were met with Levi and the three of you walked towards what you imagined to be Erwin’s office at the base.

You were nervous, they must have decided what to do with you. Or maybe they want to conduct another interview now that you could talk, but you don’t remember anything new yet. Anxiety pricked at your skin; you weren’t prepared to be berated with questions. 

_ What if, because of your lack of memory they thought you were lying? What if they didn’t trust you? What if– _

“Go inside.” Levi said, ripping you from the cloud of your invasive thoughts. You stepped inside the office and took a seat, Levi remined standing by the door. The large wooden desk was decorated with a name plate reading Erwin Smith. 

The man in question cleared his throat before shuffling a few documents before him and addressing you. 

“Y/N...”

♥

Experiments? Are they serious? 

“I can see the distress on your face. I assure you; the experiments will be nothing invasive, and all led by Hange and Moblit.” Still, you were unsure about the prospects of being tested on like some animal to the slaughter. Your lack of response urged Erwin to continue explaining.

“We need to test your titan abilities, if you can shift like the other titan shifters we’ve encountered. What are your strengths, are you a unique case? Things of that nature, and if we’re to trust you to the best of our ability, we need to know these things. I’d like to ask for your consent, however, if you’re to stay with us there is no other  way, I’m afraid.” He rested his chin atop his clasped fists and we patiently awaited your reply.

Levi however, was never one for such pleasantries, and gave you no extra time to think it over before he spoke. 

“If you don’t want to stay, we can always drop you off outside the walls and watch you fend for yourself against your friends out there.” He commented, pointing his thumb out towards the windows. The thought unnerved you, and you wouldn’t put it passed him to stay true to his word.

With a defeated sigh you gave the men your answer. 

“I’ll do anything. I can’t lie I’m afraid, I don’t want to be a titan anymore. I don’t want to be a shifter. This is all so confusing but I’ll do what I have to  to gain your trust.” 

“Well then that settles it. We’ll start tomorrow.” Levi said, quickly heading out the door and leaving you and Erwin alone. Your shoulders dropped; this was all so sudden but you could understand their dilemma. They needed to have answers and quick, you’ve already been here for quite some time inconveniencing them with your silence and memory loss. This is the least you can do. 

It’ll give you the answers you’ve been hoping for yourself, can you even turn again? You prayed to whatever god that was listening that you didn’t have the ability to shift. You signed your name on the pages that Erwin slid across to you. 

He gave a knowing smile, before dismissing you. When you exited, Levi was there waiting to lead you back to your room. The walk back was silent as expected, and when you entered your room he lingered in the doorway before speaking.

“Rest up. I’ll bring your dinner here later.” You nodded weakly before falling over into your pillow. He stayed just a second longer before you heard the soft click of the door shutting, and the quiet jingle of his keys locking you inside. 

The uncertainty of tomorrow scared you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait between the update. Just in the last few days I realized I kinda jacked up the timeline of the show to fit my story, soooo sorry? I have the rest of the story mapped out just about, but instead of the rapid course of events in the show, weeks and maybe even months will pass before the next expedition. The one where the titans are found within the walls! Forgive me! It'll all work out nicely in the end! <3 hope you enjoy what I have in store!


	10. Break

I just found out some very sad news about a very dear friend of mine, I'll be taking the week to cope. Will delete this chapter when I have an update, sorry. <3 Have a good week and stay safe and happy ILY.


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